The Best of You: Break Free from Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self in God
$11.72
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God didn’t design us to be doormats.
So many women have been taught to always focus on others, turn the other cheek, or deny their own needs. We all want to give the best of ourselves to others. But, what happens when others take advantage of us? How do we care for others without letting our own needs get pushed to the back-burner?
The Best of You reveals a breakthrough strategy to find your voice, set wise limits, and still be a loving person. For over 20 years, Dr. Alison has integrated faith and psychology to help women reclaim their confidence, find their purpose, and enjoy healthy relationships. Her unique wisdom will help you:
heal painful patternscultivate boundariesstrengthen your authentic selfcreate healthy two-way relationshipsYou don’t have to stay stuck, overwhelmed, or defeated. The Best of You gives you the path to the life and relationships that God designed for you to enjoy.
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About this book:
You can find emotional freedom. Learn to see through the haze of conflicted feelings and move forward in your life with confidence. The books provides a groundbreaking 3-step process to find the freedom you crave. God didn’t design us to be doormats. How do we care for others without letting our own needs get pushed to the back-burner? You don’t have to stay stuck, overwhelmed, or defeated. The best of you is right around the corner. Do emotions control you or do you control your emotions? So many let guilt, anger, or self-criticism dominate their lives and hurt their relationships. This book shows you how to turn shame to joy, anger to advocacy, & calm the chaos within.
Publisher : Thomas Nelson
Publication date : September 5, 2023
Language : English
Print length : 240 pages
ISBN-10 : 1400234794
ISBN-13 : 978-1400234790
Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
Dimensions : 5.49 x 0.66 x 8.39 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #109,586 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #811 in Christian Women’s Issues #1,190 in Christian Self Help #1,487 in Christian Personal Growth
Customer Reviews: 4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars (401) var dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction; P.when(‘A’, ‘ready’).execute(function(A) { if (dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction !== true) { dpAcrHasRegisteredArcLinkClickAction = true; A.declarative( ‘acrLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault”: true }, function (event) { if (window.ue) { ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrLinkClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } } ); } }); P.when(‘A’, ‘cf’).execute(function(A) { A.declarative(‘acrStarsLink-click-metrics’, ‘click’, { “allowLinkDefault” : true }, function(event){ if(window.ue) { ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”, (ue.count(“acrStarsLinkWithPopoverClickCount”) || 0) + 1); } }); });
7 reviews for The Best of You: Break Free from Painful Patterns, Mend Your Past, and Discover Your True Self in God
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Lisa P. –
Insightful wisdom that supports healing and is hopeful and inspirational!
This book shares Alison’s heart for supporting and loving others who are on a journey to discover their best self. As a Christian therapist, she delivers her content in a kind and compassionate tone with continual reminders that we are not to feel shame for the “self” that exists due to negative beliefs and past trauma or wounding. She shows us how connecting with ourselves by naming and processing our feelings and becoming more self aware of our negative beliefs and patterns will support us in our growth toward our best self. She also shares the importance of our relationships to our growth and healing work.Her message is extremely hopeful for her readers as she unveils truths from scripture as well as best practices from the mental health field that will guide the reader on their path to healing and wholeness. She does a fantastic job of sharing how our past wounds and trauma have impacted us and the negative patterns that we may have developed as a way of coping with our experiences as children. I especially love the steps she shares for healing these wounds and transforming these negative patterns, as well as the inclusion of clearly defining what is healthy and what is unhealthy for ourselves or what we may be experiencing with others.What I especially appreciated about the book was the way Alison shares not only scripture but also ways that Jesus modeled the traits and behaviors that we need to be the best versions of ourselves that God created us to be. As a woman of faith, I appreciated that lens of truth.Alison tackles many of the topics that are areas of difficulty for women as a gender, who have cultural expectations placed on them that negatively influence their beliefs about their identity. Alison gives us a glimpse of what our true self is and how it compares to our false self. She also gives suggestions for how we can connect more to ourselves to uncover our true self that may be in hiding, as we move toward becoming our best self. Women tend to struggle with boundaries, people pleasing, perfectionism, seeking approval, etc. and Alison gives us permission to break these patterns and shows us the freedom for our souls that will be the benefit. I found her included tools, reflections, scripts, and personal and client examples that Alison to be valuable and insightful.I highly recommend the book to anyone who is seeking hope and healing and wants to become their best self!
John Shifra –
GREAT book
This book is EXCELLENT.As a general Christian women’s self-help book, “The Best of You” ticks all the boxes–warm, practical, encouraging, and deeply *helpful*. Dr. Alison Cook draws both from both personal stories and years of experience as a trained therapist to cover many of the most common areas where women struggle. At the heart of every conversation, Allison gently draws women back to a question many of us have never had the courage to ask: “What is it that *you* want?”On the surface, that’s a simple and obvious question–but it’s one that many women (especially those within American Protestant/evangelical circles, I suspect) have difficulty answering. In an attempt to “take up our cross,” “turn the other cheek,” and avoid selfishness/pride, Dr. Cook describes how many of us have mistaken “selflessness” for not having a self, altogether. This particular misrepresentation of how Christ actually lived (and how the Bible teaches us to live) results in deeply unhealthy ways of relating to others–which in turn, often lead to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.While Dr. Cook does a great job identifying problems, her focus–and clearly, her passion–is on helping her readers find healing and growth. She does not waste time over-analyzing or criticizing who is to blame when women internalize Christian messages in ways that lead to codependency, poor boundaries, spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity. (In this age of divisiveness, she probably could have sold more books–and controversy–had she taken that route!) Instead, Dr. Cook’s clinical background gives her compelling stories from real-life women to share, and a talent for asking questions that cut straight to the heart of a matter. In fact, I found that the reflection/application questions at the end of each chapter were especially strong compared to other books I’ve read. (Having made their case in the bulk of a chapter, some authors will make the mistake of overwhelming a reader with too many questions to actually digest, or only offer low-quality, fluff questions that don’t bring the material home.) Dr. Cook’s writing clearly benefits from years of time spent listening to actual clients, and learning how to ask effective questions that prompt meaningful change.Dr. Cook’s advice is wise and familiarly grounded within the best practices of modern psychology, so there is probably nothing particularly ground-breaking about much of her content; and the book actually covers so many different relational situations, that I (personally) hit a point of emotional over-saturation around chapter 8. That said–the content is all *really good,* and the *way* it is articulated is even better. “The Best of You” feels like time spent sitting with the very best kind of therapist–someone who is wise, trustworthy, and deeply committed to helping you become the best version of yourself.Thank you to the author and publisher for providing me with a digital copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Dr. Cook–God bless you! and thank you so much for your work.
CindyFort@12Tribes –
Valuable for Every Woman
As a counselor, I loved this book! It would be a great resource for every woman coming into my office, and I might add it as a “must read” for them.Dr. Cook has a way of pointing us back to God (the real God, not some fabricated false image) but without religiosity. She expertly shares psychological principles that help the reader discover why life isn’t working at the moment and helps to connect to truths that help them realize their problems are NOT because of weak faith or a lack of faith. Even if you are not a Christian, her gentle guidance through the psychological landscape of boundary making and difficult relationships makes this book worth reading. I promise, you will not be “hit over the head with the Bible” within these pages!It is written in a friendly, easy to understand manner, yet is packed with practical wisdom and encouragement. Even those who might have been hurt or endured abuse within the walls of a Christian church will be able to find a path to a renewed relationship with the God Who desires relationship with each of His creation and a path to healing their broken heart. By following the guidance in this book, a person will be able to strengthen their inner heart, embrace their emotions (even the hard ones), learn to not be taken advantage of, and to life one’s voice confidently and courageously.Reflection questions at the end of each chapter will help a person process the chapter’s information and apply it to their life right now.Overall, a breath of fresh air that offers hope for all who are stressed or wounded or discouraged. Don’t delay, buy the book NOW.
WendyE –
I have, finally, found a book that sensitively addresses trauma and Jesus’ care and love as He leads us to wholeness. Thank you, Alison.
Steve Curtis –
So many excellent lessons to learn, even as a man reading a book aimed at women! So much of it rings true for me and my experiences. Thanks, Alison.
Stacey –
I thorougly enjoyed reading this book and learned a lot from it. I found the book very helpful.thank you so much
Chelsea Snyder –
Such a profound book full of truth and wisdom. Extremely thoughtful and well-written. I will be re-reading this. Highly, highly recommend.